What Counselling Actually Is (and Isn’t)

Definitions of Counselling

Many noted references online have a definition of what they say counselling is. Here’s one or two:

1. Support, advice or guidance (Oxford Dictionary).
2. A form of talking therapy where a trained, professional counsellor provides a safe, confidential, and non-judgmental space for you to talk about personal, social, or emotional issues (AI Overview on Google).
3. A unique professional process based on forming a trusting, respectful and non-judgmental professional relationship (NZAC).

End of The Road (so to speak)
I'm afraid my bullet points end there. It’s a bit of a bleak ending. If I am looking for answers and wanting to know what counselling actually is, and I read stuff like that – I would end my search. There’s not a whole lot out there – just everyone chiming in on what they say, or think, it is – and its all very similar language. You see, I believe people have their own framework in their mind of what they think it is, and their framework possibly belongs to someone else – a renowned author, or someone out there that’s written about it. Those frameworks are what shapes their definitions, their processes, their everything.

What Counselling Isn’t
To many, counselling is: ticking boxes, filling out endless forms; cold, clinical environment, therapeutic processes to navigate while notes are being taken and the client is visibly shaken!

Unlike 1-3 above, I don’t see advice-giving as anything to do with counselling. Talking therapy – what’s that? Talk is talk, is talk. It’s not a therapy! What’s a professional process? A process is a process, is a process – whether its professional or not. It’s certainly not:

• A quick-fix
• A one-size fits all
• A check box to tick
• Endless forms to fill out
• Not judgmental or advice giving
• Not a structured or carefully formed process.

Yes, I remember the old textbook days – there were clear definitions of what any subject matter was that you were about to embark on in your study. It’s not bad or wrong – it just is not authentic enough for me to be who I am today, and with what I offer in counselling today.

What Counselling Actually Is (to us at Whanganui Counselling Services): The context in which I believe counselling actually “is”, is our space. You (the client) + Me (the counsellor) = authentically US. And guess what? It is not just about the client, it’s not the read everywhere out there definition – “client-centred”. No, no, no.

Our Mathematical Equation
Counselling is about the client – the process – the counsellor. It is centred on all three. It is your space, it is my space that I share with you – it becomes our space – where you are seen, heard, and felt – all without judgment. No fixed, no wrongs, no ticks or hoops = just our space to thrive in.

Authentically you + authentically me = knowing, seeing, and speaking our truth.

We believe “The Power of You is in the Presence of You. It is deeply rooted Passion that will drive you to succeed and scale to heights unknown!”

Counselling is: “Let’s talk. No pressure. You’re here for a reason. No matter your walk of life, no matter your profession, or non-profession, it matters not – there is room enough for all, ‘Yes, and you too’.”

The Impact on You
“I've been seen.” “I've been heard.” “I've been validated.” “I’m okay, there’s nothing ‘wrong’ with me.” “I didn’t feel judged.” “I have learnt more about myself.” “I feel more empowered to move forward.” “I now have skills to deal with my stuff.” “I was ‘seen’ beyond my outer shell.” “It wasn’t me plus the counsellor, it was both of us.” “I wasn’t alone.” “It’s okay to cry.”

You get to walk away and choose to come back if you want to. “Yes, and You Too.”

Why Call Us?
Why not us? We’re here. This is who we are. This is what we offer. It’s ‘your’ call, ‘your’ power, your freedom of choice.