My Approach

List of Tools

Three-Pronged Approach (TTA)
We're often taught counselling is entirely client-centred - that everything revolves around the client. But in practice, real change happens through three vital parts working together: the client, the process, and the counsellor.

• The client brings what matters to them.

• The process is alive and moving, shaping what unfolds.

• The counsellor is present and ready, holding the space with care and intention.

When all three come together, the client can see beyond the immediate issue, engage more actively with themselves and their world, and move toward meaningful change. Often, if we let the client just talk - it paints the picture, and the story - then they can make sense of it.

Tying The Three Together (TTT)
This tool ties the three together - thoughts, feelings, and actions. Each one directly fuels the other, shaping how we see ourselves and how we move in the world. Here's the truth: if you think rubbish = you'll feel rubbish = and you'll act rubbish. That cycle can run on repeat until it drags you down. But when clients stop and check their feelings, they soon trace back to the thoughts behind them - and thoughts can be challenged. A person can feel rubbish because they thought a thought, only to discover later - it was misplaced.

TTT helps cut through those old patterns: Where did that thought come from? Do I even believe it? Was it just what I was taught? By disputing and reshaping the thought, the feelings shift, and so do the actions. It's that simple, and that powerful. Changing even one part of the three creates a ripple - a new way of thinking, feeling, and acting that builds self-responsibility and real empowerment. It gives the client a clearer picture of what is really happening, how it is impacting their present-day lives, and how they can make powerful, productive change.

Identifying My Triggers (IMT)
Sometimes we have no idea why we react the way we do - a person, situation, or event just sets us off. These reactions can become automatic, a default way of coping. Think of a trigger like a finger on a gun. The pull may feel instant, but it came from somewhere. By identifying, naming, and owning our triggers, we take back control. Instead of the shot firing wildly, anchoring helps us ground ourselves - to pause and ask three key questions: (1) What happened? (2) What are my beliefs about what happened? (3) What was the outcome, and what could I do differently? It's an exploration process. It cuts through all the stuff that makes no sense.

This process disempowers old reactions, cuts through the automatic loops, and gives clients the power to choose a new response. Anchoring provides stability in the moment while insight clears the path forward. The result is self-responsibility, healthier patterns, and real empowerment. AT its core, triggers are just warning signs to us - a gift really - that something is amiss. Let's take a look at it. Uncover it for what it really is.

The Art of Role-Playing (AOR)
Role-playing gives clients a safe way to say the things that often stay bottled up. It might mean speaking to a chair, an object, or even the Counsellor as if they were someone else. This process can uncover new perspectives, release emotion, and bring clarity. It's a tool that can be used for many situations - from resolving unfinished business to exploring different sides of ourselves - always with care, guidance, and support. Briefing and debriefing is vital. This tool is always used with discretion with the client's consent and comfortability being high priority. We brief, we debrief, and we find relief.

Squat-in-a-Box (SIAB)
When you're stuck in a box, what do you see? Squat. At best, four walls and maybe a lid. Boxes keep us confined - shaped by our own limits or by the expectations of others, or by the so-called comfort zone. But comfort zones aren't really comfortable - they just keep us small. They affect how we think, how we see the world, and how we relate to people around us. This tool helps clients explore their box - what's holding them in - and find ways to shift perspective, break through walls, and step into a bigger view of life.

We got there because we choose to. It's what makes us feel safe. One is not encouraged to jump right out of it (unless they're ready to do so) - more often than not, it's a cards-on-the-table experience - one at a time. Let's do it!

Know-See-Speak (KSS)
Sometimes it's hard to put into words what we really think or feel. Clients often want to understand what's going on, but can't always see beyond their circumstances, let alone give voice to it. KSS helps build confidence, courage, and clarity. It invites clients to pause and ask: What do I know about this deep down? What do I see in my situation? What do I want to say? This process assists clients to tell their story, untangle confusion, and make sense of experiences. When a person can know, see, and speak their truth with honesty, they can own it - they find empowerment and a clearer way forward.

Another word for it is: alignment. When all three align, you're on the right track. It's a wonderful thing to be, and feel aligned. And, when you don't feel aligned, that's okay - it's a signal for us to step back, and give thought to - and work through what is happening. You're OK.

Art-Draw-Scribble (ADS)
You don't need to be an artist to use this tool. Everyone has a unique and authentic way of expressing themselves with a pen in hand. Sometimes it comes as a drawing, or a simple scribble - either way, it tells a story. This process helps clients express what may be hard to put into words. Through drawing or scribbling, feelings about a person, situation, or event can surface, bringing clarity to past or present issues. With guidance and exploration, clients begin to recognise and identify emotions, giving them new ways to understand and work through what's going on.

Art takes on many forms - it can be a puzzle, it can be a poem, it can be an object - whatever resonates with you, is your unique way to express yourself. You are your own unique artist!

Keeping It Real Journals (KIRJ)
Writing is a powerful way to express yourself. For some, it's easier to put feelings on paper (or on screen) than to say them out loud. Journaling gives a safe outlet to write freely - no restrictions, no judgement. Keeping a journal helps clients keep a record of their thoughts and feelings, making sense of what's going on inside. It can ease anxiety by getting worries out of the head and onto the page, and it empowers people to see their journey more clearly. Journaling is a tool for expression, challenge, clarity, and self-discovery. It's a way to keep it real - to write what hurts, what helps, and what brings out your best self.

It might not all make sense at times, but that's okay - it's getting it out and down, expressed in your own way. It's one of your superpowers!

Hear & Be Heard (HBH)
This is a tool that centers on the power of listening and speaking clearly. It's about hearing another person, not just their words - but between the lines where there is meaning and feelings. Doing so is what helps bring clarity for the client, giving them insight into their own selves. Active listening, being present, having clear communication enables a client to speak freely and make sense of what they are saying, assisting them to find their truth, and their answers. HBH helps clients feel heard, understood, valued, and empowered. It takes time but that journey begins for them as soon as they feel heard and understood, not judged, and able to speak freely in a safe, confidential, and supportive space. This can flow over into all areas of a persons life.

Your gift of voice is what sets you and others free!

Cut Through BS (CTB)
Clear communication is a superpower. This tool helps clients tell their story with confidence, express themselves honestly, and interact more effectively in personal, professional, and everyday situations. CTB is about problem ownership - identifying what the real problem is, owning it, and keeping it real. It means setting clear boundaries for yourself and others, and cutting through the BS that gets in the way of healthy relationships. When clients learn to shift from blame ("you") to responsibility ("I"), they gain clarity, self-respect, and strong connections. CTB is empowering, practical, and straight to the point - a communication skill that cuts through noise and gives clients their voice back. One must be willing to go there and have what I call a thick skin.

CTB isn't just a tool - it's one of your superpowers.

Rip the Bloody Thing Off (RTBTO)
This gifted tool is for the times when circling around issues, softening, or "almost ready" kind of thinking doesn't cut it - and is actually keeping you stuck.

RTBTO is not about force. It's about readiness.

This is honest work. It keeps things real, stops tip-toeing around avoidance, and gets the ball rolling - at your pace. My role is to help keep things moving and to support you to stay real as we go.

Sometimes it's kinder to peel the band aid off all at once and deal with what comes next, rather than pulling at it slowly - because while that feels safer, it often hurts more and drags the sting out longer.

RTBTO is about choosing clarity over delay, and movement over avoidance - with discernment.

No shaming. No blaming. No gaming.

Summary:
There are countless therapies and approaches available in counselling, each with aspects that can benefit the client and the process. I prefer to see them as tools and resources that can come into play to support the client's journey. The 10 tools described here are not exhaustive - there is so much more that can be drawn on - but they are practical, powerful, and proven to make a real difference.

Authentically You + Authentically Me
=
Knowing, Seeing, and Speaking Our Truth!