Saying No (and Bloody Sticking to It!)

It’s easy right? It only contains two letters of the alphabet, two out of 26 (as we know it). How hard can it be. We spit out words day in, day out, some of them long, short, in sentences, paragraphs, phrases – and ‘no’ is only two letters, one word. Yet, it is so hard to say – let alone stick to it.

It seems to be harder saying ‘no’ to those closest to us. It might help to understand some of the myths around saying ‘no’, or the lies we tell ourselves about it. It goes a little deeper than two letters, one word.

Myths Around Saying ‘No’

• “If I say ‘no’, I'm afraid of being rejected.”

• “If I say ‘no’, I feel so guilty and give in anyway.”

• “When I say ‘no’, it’s not taken seriously.”

• “It’s too hard, they don’t give up so I give in.

• “I say ‘no’, feel guilty, then angry at myself for caving in.”

• “I have no right to say ‘no’ because I messed up.”

• “I was taught to be obliging. Saying ‘no’ is rude.”

• “I feel bad for saying ‘no’, so it must be wrong.”

There isn’t enough room to list more otherwise this cut through piece will only exist of bullet points of why ‘no’ is a bad thing to say.

Saying ‘no’ is not a rejection – it is protection of your boundaries, your space, your freedom to say ‘yay’ or ‘nay’.

Why ‘No’ is Hard to Say
It feels like it should be simple, but it isn’t. Saying ‘no’ often stirs up guilt, fear, or old habits that run deeper than two letters. Many of us grew up hearing “no” in ways that made us feel small or wrong – so when it’s our turn to use it, we hesitate. Some of us were taught that pleasing others was safer than setting boundaries.

That’s why ‘no’ feels heavy. It’s not just a word – it’s loaded with past experiences, unhealed stuff, and the fear of letting people down. But when we learn to recognise that weight for what it is, we can cut through it.

Some Home Truths

• Saying ‘no’ is about being comfortable with who you are.

• Saying ‘no’ is the operative word of boundaries – this far and no further.

• Saying ‘no’ means you are respecting yourself and the other person(s) – even though it mightn’t feel like it for them!

• Saying ‘no’ empowers you to stand your own ground, not someone else’s.

• Saying ‘no’ is moving to the beat of your own drum, not someone else’s noise.

It is you taking control of your choices and knowing where you stand with yourself, and letting the other person(s) know where they stand with you.

No, is two letters, one word – and is a complete sentence: ‘No.” Period.

Visualise Your ‘No’
Your brain is powerful – what you picture, you strengthen. Visualise what saying ‘no’ looks like for you. Maybe it’s a fence around your home: the gate opens when you choose, and closes when you choose. See yourself standing firm at that gate, speaking your truth with clarity and calm.

“I know what the truth is, I can see it – therefore I can speak it.”

The Impactful Outcome
You feel empowered, victorious, strong, can do it again – stronger each time. Your resolve has been strengthened because you said ‘no’ for the right reasons, and without feeling guilty or bad – those negative emotions that attached themselves to your thinking – dissipate to nothing. There is no guilt, there is no bad – in saying ‘no’.

It is your right, your freedom, your power. It is a gift to the other person(s) – not that they will recognise that, let alone unwrap it. Maybe they do. Either way, your ‘no’ stands firm. You have options: your ‘no’ can be a choice to walk away from the person or situation – that is okay, strong, and empowering.

It’s Worth It
It’s worth it because you matter, saying ‘no’ is okay. Next time you struggle with it, stop, think, pause – “I am empowered to know, see, and speak my truth.”

Say ‘no’ and bloody stick to it – every single time. It’s worth it.